Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Parenting Inspiration

I have a friend that is Supermom; no, really she is!!! Karin is the friend that is ALWAYS willing to help or volunteer for something. Her cookies are always homemade with lots of love. She organizes play dates, PTO meetings, church gatherings, and is always willing to lend a helping hand.
In one of her recent emails she shared that she had read this book and the following were some of the points she liked:

14) Yes, not What: When answering your child, say, 'Yes' instead of 'what'

22) When you get upset, whisper

23) Kids Court: kids have a chance to present their sides of the story, parent is the judge with fair ruling

24) Start the conversation over (when the infraction is minor)

25) The other side of the freeway: point out something huge as a tangible example of how much you love them, then something tiny when you are upset ("If this whole room is how much I love you, that coin is how much I am upset with you for hitting.")

26) Play Whisper Game for 10 min. to reset volume level, and give simple reward for players

27) First bite/last bite: Child agrees to try a real bite of new food in exchange for the right to have the last bite of anything parent is eating

29) Reverse dinners: Child agrees beforehand to eat all real food you give her in exchange to eat dessert first

31) Say the awkward with a quiet question so child has a chance to correct the mistake without being embarrassed: "If you had food stuck in your teeth, would you want me to tell you? If you were wrong about your facts, could I point this out? If your zipper was down, would you want to know?"

34) If you can't be on time, be early

35) Please & thank you races: keep score for manners used at restaurants, taking away points if fouls committed, then give reward for winner, such as choosing dessert or which seat to ride on the way home

39) Stay where you are and fly like an angel: Have child do this if lost: staying where they are (instead of looking for security guard) keeps them closer to where they should be, and broadly waving arms slowly (like they're trying to fly back to you) makes child easier to spot (if people ask what he/she is doing, he/ she says they are waiting for mom or dad to come back). Then rejoice when you find child, not scold.

41) Have child wear rubber wristband with your phone number on it on their ankle when in crowds

43) Caboose rule: When in groups, assign an adult to be the caboose so no one falls behind

45) Your child has to know where you are: by reversing the responsibility, he/she has to keep her eyes on you at all times

48) The truth reduces the punishment by 90%: This makes telling the truth the only option your child will consider. Tell child what punishment would have been if truth had been kept from you, then give child a much-reduced punishment as their reward "The punishment would have been 2 weeks without TV, but since you told me the truth you will have 2 nights without TV." By telling the truth, child has accepted responsibility for their actions and the need for punishment is greatly reduced.

50) The list of joys and the threat of discipline: By listing child's things he/she would miss most if behavior/grades/etc. don't improve (such as TV, friends, sports) it can motivate the child to do what he/she needs to so they don't lose those joys

56) 5 effective nonviolent punishments: Silent treatment for saying something rude; Do not go to your room (if there are fun things to do in there); Write a message multiple times; Apologize to whole family; Have child run laps

57) Take the pain away: When someone gets hurt in a group, gather everyone together and have them touch that child's arm or leg, then count to 3 and gently shake the pile of hands for effect, and then have everyone grab their own arm or leg (whatever body part was hurt on the child) pretend to howl in pain. It may be so much fun that everyone wants to do it again, and soon everyone is laughing and has forgotten about the injury in the first place.

58) Slow motion replays: Get hurt child to laugh by parent doing an exaggerated instant replay, as in a news coverage

59) Freeze it, then clean it: Apply ice all around a scrape to numb it, then clean the injury so it will hurt less.

61) The ground is on fire: When child falls during sports, shout "The ground is on fire" to mean that it's making it worse by staying's better to get back up and back in the game (or in life)

62) Squeeze my hand as much as it hurts: Always be surprised at how much it hurts, as it shows you are compassionate and your understanding will help ease their pain

Great reminders, this is on my must-read list!

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